I want to see Pothouses, Grogshops, and Road Houses IMMEDIATELY.

Also, I am vying to name something “Grambles Lorelai Lounge”, and go viral because that’s the name of the burger sketch in “I Think You Should Leave”, aka “I SHOULDA GOT THAT!”

Also, this was meant for drinking and food establishments. It is a little lighter so far on higher end restaurant types and names. I would love to expand on this so give me more!

Types of F&B Establishments, function, & definition

  • Alehouse – a tavern
  • Bistro – a small restaurant
  • Bottle shop – A bottle shop is a shop which sells wine, beer , and other alcoholic drinks. | Meaning, pronunciation, translations and examples
  • Café – a small restaurant selling light meals and drinks
  • Canteen – a restaurant provided by an organization such as a military camp, college, factory, or company for its soldiers, students, staff, etc
  • Cantina – (especially in a Spanish-speaking country or the southwestern US) a bar. (in Italy) a wine shop
  • Cookshop – a place where prepared food is sold or served
  • Diner – a small roadside restaurant with a long counter and booths, originally one designed to resemble a dining car on a train. (diner came from dining car)
  • Grill – Bar & Grill, a restaurant that serves grilled food, such as a “bar and grill” Grilling, a form of cooking that involves direct heat. Mixed grill, a combination of traditional grilled foods
  • Grogshop – a usually low-class barroom
  • Hostelry – an inn
  • Lounge – a public room, as in a hotel, theater, or club, in which to sit and relax
  • Nineteenth Hole – the bar in a golf clubhouse, as reached after a standard round of eighteen holes
  • Pothouse – a small tavern
  • Pub – Tavern or Bar
  • Rathskeller – a bar or restaurant located in the basement of a city hall (Rathaus) or nearby
  • Road House – a tavern, inn, or club on a country road
  • Saloon – An alternative name for a bar (establishment), A South Asian term for a barber’s shop, One of the bars in a traditional British public house, or pub, The centre room of a suite of state rooms, the drawing room, The officers’ mess on a merchant vessel, A large social lounge on a passenger ship, Western saloon, a historical style of American bar
  • Speakeasy – an illicit liquor store or nightclub
  • Supper Club – a restaurant or nightclub serving suppers and usually providing entertainment
  • Tap room – a room in which alcoholic drinks, especially beer, are available on tap; a bar in a hotel or inn
  • Tavern – an establishment for the sale of beer and other drinks to be consumed on the premises, sometimes also serving food; a bar or pub
  • Watering hole – a waterhole from which animals regularly drink

The tried and true KPI, or ways we measure our hotel’s performance. They do not speak about digital marketing as a KPI here, because it’s tied to our classic measurements of performance: https://www.hospitalitynet.org/news/4104058.html

However, we’re at times behind the trends, and the data revolution means that we hotel people need to wrap our heads around other metrics that may be of value, that we simply don’t “see” yet, as unlocking the data and asking questions in how it can be perceived is a very new thing for us. But in interest of our owners… time to grow and learn!

I’m noticing as owners want to not only track performance by standard definitions, they also want to unlock this world of data, and make it accessible in a way that tells a story. And that’s been exciting to me as a concept.  BUT, we’ve had the digital data for about 15 years, and there’s still no silver bullet. I am so excited to unlock more data analysis that leads to real understanding about ops.

A great example is being able to track guest sentiment over time to create a word cloud that can tag or highlight issues before they’re a performance impacting issue or problem… ie fixing a rattling window mentioned by a few guests, or realizing the hot water heater is about to go out because of a guest comment, tracked and documented, and acted upon. Or reading negative sentiment about a lack of adult pool, so you can plan capital projects based on guest desires and needs, vs whims or following fads.

But sentiment is just one aspect of this, and I’m looking at all our normal performance and health KPIs, vs any blind spots I might have in looking for interesting and new ways to track ourselves, and learn. One interesting idea is not just looking at Marketing ROI, but Marketing ROI vs RevPAR, and if those numbers might tell a helpful story about operations or marketing.

Ideally, we’ll end up in an automated machine learning AI world where a robot pings us to say that “in 443.2 hours the internet will fail”, but not quite like Hal 9000.  Something akin to that, so we can automate the health of the hotel and operational performance. Until then, tracking the generated revenue can be even more time consuming than creating it. When you have to spend time tracking, that is a cost. When you spend time creating the revenue, that’s a healthier business. So we’ve got to get to a place where this becomes cut, dry, clear, and automated… or we will be losing out on potential revenue while talking about the revenue we did make. Also, I note that it isn’t just the expense of time and energy creating these reports, but it’s also that there’s a delta between the revenue generated and the revenue we could have added on top of that *plus* the cost.

So we’re trying to innovate, and I’m open to hearing of KPI that are missing… especially from a digital marketing perspective. But what KPIs could we track that aren’t here…
… and ESPECIALLY what KPIs are relatively meaningless, don’t tell a story, or are overvalued?

Funny there are 42 total KPI. Douglas Adams would have loved it. =)

This is interesting, on expense KPI:
https://www.verdant.co/hotel-industry-kpis/

 

Hotel Expense KPI

  1. Energy Management
  2. Water Consumption
  3. Labor Cost as % of Sales **

Financials

  1. Total Available Rooms
  2. Gross Operating Profit
  3. Occupancy
  4. Average Daily Rate
  5. Average Room Rate (ARR)
  6. Revenue Per Available Room (RevPAR)
  7. Net Revenue per Available Room (NRevPAR)
  8. Revenue Per Occupied Room (RevPOR)
  9. Gross operating profit per available room (GOPPAR)
  10. Cost per Occupied Room (cPOR)
  11. Average Length of Stay (AvgLOS)
  12. Market Penetration Index (Occ vs Comp)
  13. Marketing ROI, ie marketing spend vs RevPAR **
  14. Earnings Before Interest, Taxes, Depreciation, and Amortization (EBITDA)

 

Guest Experience KPI

  1. Online Rating Aggregation
  2. Customer Satisfaction
  3. Guest Sentiment via Survey
  4. Loyalty

 

Employee KPI

  1. Employee output
  2. Employ sentiment

 

Lastly…. These specifically for digital marketing are interesting:
https://linpack-for-tableau.com/data-visualizations/tableau-dashboards/general-services-business-travels-hotel-dashboard/custom-analysis-kpi/

  1. Total Booking Volume
  2. # of Bookings: Total number of bookings
  3. # of Nights: Total number of nights booked
  4. Nights per Booking: Average number of nights per booking
  5. Avg Room Price: Average room price
  6. ABW – Advance Booking Window: Days between booking date and hotel check-in date
  7. # of Tickets (booked online): Total number of tickets booked online
  8. OAR – Online Adoption Rate: Share of online bookings
  9. Lowest Rate Accepted %: Share of bookings where the lowest rate was accepted
  10. # of Travelers: Total number of distinct travelers
  11. Booking Volume per Traveler: Average booking volume per traveler
  12. Total △ Booking vs Lowest Rate: Total difference between Room Price vs Lowest Rate
  13. Avg △ Ticket vs Lowest Rate: Average difference between Room Price vs Lowest Rate
  14. Total Lowest Rate: Total Booking at Lowest Rate
  15. Ticket vs Lowest Rate: % Over price vs Lowest Rate in %
  16. Bookings per Traveler: Average number of bookings per Traveler
  17. Nights per Traveler: Average number of nights per Traveler
  18. Destination Cities: Total number of distinct destination cities
  19. Destination Countries: Total number of distinct destination countries

Having rewatched the great Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, it reminded me that airship tech has really gotten far better than… uhhh… hydrogen. But I’m waiting, and what I’m seeing makes me think the Cruise Ship of the Sky could not only be amazing, but also not as totally gross as Cruise Ships.  These images are remarkable, but I am 100% most interested in the notion of developing sustainable travel with floating hotels. This could be a perfect environmentally friendly way for people to enjoy travel, without the guilt. We know over-tourism and infrastructural strain is a huge aspect to the future of city zoning and travel allowances, not to mention climate change issues. So much information and data on what’s happening due to global warming and overtourism: https://www.hrabaconsulting.com/2018/12/27/global-warming-tourism/

These New Luxury Blimps Hope to Become the Superyachts of the Skies Zeppelins are usually equated with the Hindenburg disaster, but today’s airships use modern materials and some aspire to be as luxurious as superyachts. https://robbreport.com/motors/aviation/rise-of-airships-2944817/

Look inside this luxury blimp promising to revolutionize air travel There’s no word on how much a trip will cost on this flying cruise ship, but, in the meantime, you can take a tour of the swanky interior https://nationalpost.com/news/world/look-inside-this-luxury-blimp-promising-to-revolutionize-air-travel

 

The HAV design doesn't need a mooring mast and ground crew like traditional models (Credit: HAV) US aerospace giant Lockheed Martin also has an airship concept (Credit: Lockheed Martin)

 

AND TO GET AN IDEA OF WHAT THE OLD ZEPPELINS WERE LIKE:

32 Rare Historical Photos That Show Why Flying On The Hindenburg Zeppelin Was So Expensive https://www.boredpanda.com/inside-hindenburg-zeppelin-luxury-interior-vintage-photographs/

Zeppelins like the Hindenburg offered the most luxurious air travel ever. What was it like to travel in one? Jonathan Glancey looks back on a design classic many wish would return. https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20141126-the-airship-that-ruled-the-skies

Airships like the Graf Zeppelin featured luxurious public spaces and allowed smoking despite the presence of flammable hydrogen nearby (Fox Photos/Getty Images)

 

 

SUPPLY AND DEMAND

So, I am not all giddy about the value of the book because I understand most of those values are unchanging store fronts that don’t care if they ever sell the book, so it’s a manufactured or somewhat arbitrary evaluation. And I looked at sold copies on ebay, and there haven’t been any in a long time… so it’s spurious to think the values are correct, or that there’s any interest in the book at all. What’s more, I am collecting these specific copies for people, and not to flip. But this is wild, and just an accidental but interesting notion of supply and demand.

I bought up about 20+ of Shelley Berman’s hilarious classic “A Hotel Is a Place” about 10 years ago for a few bucks each. I realized it was a rare and superb gift for hospitality professionals, and very few people know about it. It had been forgotten by history and they were sitting for dollars in goodwill bins all over the world. Apparently I bought all of them… because they’re selling for $75 – 400 now. LOL  Fascinating. If you can find a copy, and you’re a dyed in the wool hotel professional, you will have the most hilarious read of your life. I’d say my purchasing of this, prior to Shelley passing away in 2017, set the market on fire. =/

Also, little tidbit… in about 2010, I communicated with Shelley through Facebook, and we had talked about adapting the book into a series or film, and we were supposed to write a treatment. NO JOKE. Never happened… he started getting long in the tooth, and his assistant said he wasn’t up to it. I might try a round two. But, I was shocked in researching and am just dropping the links here. I’ll research on Reddit how to define if a book is really of merit or value (not that I care, I just love the book), but this is bonkers. While researching I just started dropping links here so I guess it’s a blog post! Read on for the comedy.

$50 – $450 https://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_from=R40&_nkw=%22a+hotel+is+a+place%22&_sacat=0&_sop=15

$92.29 https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/a-hotel-is-a-place-_shelley-berman/504345/#edition=1884332&idiq=7061772

$77 – $324 https://smile.amazon.com/Hotel-Place-Shelley-Berman/dp/084310211X

$75EU https://www.abebooks.co.uk/book-search/title/a-hotel-is-a-place/author/shelley-berman/

$296.84 https://picclick.it/Berman-Shelley-Un-Hotel-Is-A-Posizionalo-Autografato-164943006530.html

$330.86 https://www.abebooks.com/Hotel-Place-Berman-Shelley-Price-Stern/30776531232/bd

$319+ https://www.rarebookcellar.com/pages/books/80753/shelley-berman/a-hotel-is-a-place-signed-1st

$325.95 https://www.biblio.com/book/hotel-place-signed-1st-berman-shelley/d/795374170

$450 https://www.abebooks.com/signed/Hotel-Place-BERMAN-Shelley-Price-Stern/893039263/bd

Different $450 https://www.abaa.org/book/123437563

& Different $450 https://www.betweenthecovers.com/pages/books/92654/shelley-berman/a-hotel-is-a-place

 

THE BOOK ITSELF

here’s two bits from the book. It’ll be interesting how people feel about them in modern context, but I do think they stand the test of time, and have become too dated. The Room Service one, possibly:

The Little Soaps letters actually went viral as something real in the last 20 years, but was eventually snoped back to the book. =) The line breaks are meant to represent literal and actual physical letters written by hotel staff and the guest.

 

TINY SOAPS


Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.

Thank you,
S. Berman


Dear Room 635,

I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily.
I hope this is satisfactory.

Kathy, Relief Maid


Dear Maid — I hope you are my regular maid.

Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-size Dial so I won’t need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc.

Please remove them.

S. Berman


Dear Mr. Berman,

My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn’t remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can of further assistance.

Your regular maid,
Dotty


Dear Mr. Berman,

The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this A.M. that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you.

Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper


Dear Miss Carmen,

It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 745 AM and don’t get back before 530 or 6PM. That’s the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bath-room shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?

S. Berman


Dear Mr. Berman,

Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8AM and 5PM. Thank you,

Elaine Carmen,
Housekeeper


Dear Mr. Kensedder,

My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.

S. Berman


Dear Mr. Berman,

I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.

Martin L. Kensedder
Assistant Manager


Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don’t want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here. All I want is my bath size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.

S. Berman


Dear Mr. Berman,

You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily (sic). I don’t know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don’t know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.

Elaine Carmen
Housekeeper


Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess:

On shelf under medicine cabinet – 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.

On Kleenex dispenser – 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.

On bedroom dresser – 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.

Inside medicine cabinet – 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.

In shower soap dish – 6 Camay, very moist.

On northeast corner of tub – 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.

On northwest corner of tub – 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.

Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.

S. Berman


ROOM SERVICE

FWIW, I can’t tell if the Room Service joke has aged poorly, or it’s simply a self-aware nod to the people doing the real, hard work in our industry, and diligently working as part of a greater team working towards a common goal. Immigrants have powered out industry for*EVER*, and in these times of wage issues and staffing complexity, many of us believe immigration reform is the key to the future of operating our future in hospitality. That being said, this is from a different era, and feel free to let me know your thoughts.

 

IRD: Morny, rune sore-bees.

Guest: Oh sorry, I thought I dialed room service.

IRD: Rye. Rune sore-bees. Morny. Jewish to odor sunteen?

Guest: Yes, order something. This is room thirteen oh-five. I want . . .

IRD: Okay, torino-fie. Yes plea?

Guest: I’d like some bacon and eggs.

IRD: Ow July then?

Guest: What?

IRD: Aches. Ow July then? Pry, boy, pooch . . . ?

Guest: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them! Sorry, Scrambled, please.

IRD: Ow July thee baycome? Crease?

Guest: Crisp will be fine.

IRD: Okay. An Santos?

Guest: What?

IRD: Santo. July Santos?

Guest: Uh . . . I don’t know . . . I don’t think so.

IRD: No? Judo one toes?

Guest: Look, I really feel bad about this, but I just don’t know what judo-one-toes means. I’m sorry . . .

IRD: Toes! Toes! Why Jew Don Juan toes? Ow bow eenlish mopping we bother?

Guest: English muffin! I’ve got it! Toast! You were saying toast! Fine. An English muffin will be fine.

IRD: We bother?

Guest: No. Just put the bother on the side.

IRD: Wad?

Guest: I’m sorry. I meant butter. Butter on the side.

IRD: Copy?

Guest: I feel terrible about this but . . .

IRD: Copy. Copy, tea, mill . . .

Guest: Coffee!! Yes, coffee please. And that’s all.

IRD: One Minnie. Ass rune torino-fie, strangle-aches, crease baycome, tossy eenlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy. Rye?

Guest: Whatever you say.

IRD: Okay. Tenjewberrymud.

Guest: You’re welcome.

 

 

 

 

THANK YOU SHELLEY BERMAN.

I found my White Whale… now what?

1940s – 1990s (a guess) Pre-internet out of print Las Vegas bartender book with endless drink variants.

It’s unreal, it’s as good as I remember, and can I republish a book lost to time for no profit?

A few pages of photos to show variant cocktails, etc. I just cannot imagine how long this guy worked, cribbed notes on shift, learned from *his old timers*. I mean this has to go back to post WW2 1940s?

https://photos.app.goo.gl/5ta2NHJvZdnxfdwP7

So the original thread was here, and sorta the start of my journey:

https://www.reddit.com/r/bartenders/comments/miofde/my_white_whale_the_unofficial_las_vegas/

I found my old pal, he’s “just” a golf pro now and not barkeeping, but had the book. He sent it to me to reprint and rebind for him, and I can do what I want with it. I think it’s probably updated til 1990-1995 or so? It’s a total guess, tho. It would be fun to brainstorm all the 2000-2020 new cocktails vs classic reboots or modern variations.

The search terms of the book name: “The Drinks of Las Vegas and the USA”, the business: “Bartender Plus”, the “send a SASE” Vegas address, or original seller’s name “Joseph Cassaro” [edit: this is the address, not a name. I realize the only name is “Bartender Plus”] appear nowhere online (in reference to Vegas bartending). However, whenever this was printed might have 70 years longer in rights to the author or family. There’s a few pages missing at the front, the binding is brittle to totally broken, but it’s in great shape. This was a labor of love from an old timer… it’s margins and type is definitely a typewriter.

I’ve ZERO desire to profit vs getting “old timer experience” out in the post-internet age. Amazing this doesn’t exist anywhere. I assume I could reprint and rebind at *my cost*, not sell for a profit but for my cost at no profit? Or just digitize and send out to the world?

And factually, I don’t even know if bartending is at this point anymore… needing to know everything vs your signature cocktail or classics, etc. I know some would think this is absurd, and unnecessary. I just think it’s really really really cool, and I am really excited. If not functional, at least a history lesson of ephemera and experience to revel in. =)

But I am not sure what’s next?